In Days of Great Peace is on Fishpond Thoughts and an MP3 by that name is on Audio. It's not the same copy, so give it a listen.

No one has taken me up on doing an MP3 on a subject which interests them. The invitation is an open one.....write me at Vicki.

What's going on with you readers these days....comment now!

Love, Vicki

I wrote the essay below quickly, as I do everything I write. It always feels good to let the truth speak itself, even if it is against yourself. I am glad you liked reading a new essay on Fishpond. Well, you did, didn't you :) Here is my MP3 for the week: By Her Grace (A Hershey Kiss from Heaven). It's a look back at a spiritual memory. Taste it on your tongue. Go to Audio and it will be at the top.

Experiencing Resistance

I picked up The War of Art and began reading it. I had ordered it on the suggestion of a friend who knew I was experiencing resistance in regard to my writing. In less than ten minutes I was hit by an avalanche of understanding....about every negativity I had in relation to Bob’s illness. The author had explained it all.

Not only was I devastated by the diagnosis of “incurable,” I was devastated by my own reaction to my new job as caregiver. I didn’t want to do it. I was furious, rageful and downright disgusted. Surely I would not be asked to shepherd a second family member through a fatal cancer. But I had been picked by the Ironic Selection Committee to do just that.

I felt guilty almost every day at the fact that I was mad as hell about this cancer. Sometimes I would look at my husband and vow he was making it all up just to bring me down. Really. I was that distraught.

What I read in The War of Art is how every noble endeavor arouses resistance, and being a caregiver pushed every button I had so carefully hidden. Instead of feeling guilty, I should have felt the truth of what God was asking me to do....care for a beloved spouse when his time had come.

And so I began....and in that beginning I received my true calling....to write about the very experiences I was resisting so mightily. Day after day, week after week, month after month, I chronicled our experiences with what would turn out to be almost a five-year-battle with multiple myeloma. On December 20, 2004, the cancer won. I surrendered my husband to the good earth and walked on alone.

But now I am partnered with my calling, an inexorable march into the heart of fear. For only in that will I hear God saying to me, Well done.

January 16, 2009--Finally, there is a new essay called The Bliss of Being on Fishpond. And when you have read that, I uploaded a new MP3 on Audio.
It’s called How to Forgive Yourself.

Traffic is down; don’t be a stranger...or don’t be any stranger than you already are.
Check back for more goodies or you will have to stay after class and clean my erasers.

I've been plowing through old essays and trying to get them into chronological order. This is a huge job. I changed Macs this summer and this seemed to have messed me up big time. If I ever get things straightened out, woe unto me if I let it get so sloppy again.

Who has a question they would like to hear me discuss on an MP3? Drop me a line...and throw out a subject.

Vicki

Lizelle Reymond wrote a book called To Live Within. It is the master’s job to move us into our rightful real estate, which is inside. So I consider that a true calling...to let it be known that all problems must be resolved within. Joel Goldsmith had a list of “Wisdoms,” one of which said that all conflicts must be resolved within. Where else?

Within is where it all begins. Nothing grows from outside in. Nothing. Do you remember how, as a child, you were rocked to sleep in loving arms? If you do, you know that the feeling of comfort arose within your tiny soul. If you were not loved in that way, despair could have arisen in the same place. We are the ones who know the way home. We must travel the interminable distance between head and heart. We will know when we arrive. At that point, the teachings will have born fruit and the ring will be on your finger. The father inside will have blessed you and the mother within will have reclaimed you.

This week, know that all problems arise within and therefore so do all solutions. The way is not for the faint of heart; it is for those who know what is NOT working in their lives. Knowing that is to come home to truth.

No new MP3's this week. Perhaps you have a subject you would like to hear me discuss. If so, drop me a line here.

Two subjects covered on Audio this week...

Question about Unconditional Love

Question about Attachment

I posted an MP3 that I did by request. It is Attachment on Audio.

If you have a question that you would like for me to answer on an MP3, drop me a line here.

There is an energy exchange that takes place that is very beneficial. You might call it
the teaching/learning experience....whatever it is, it lifts you into a higher state of
awareness.

Vicki