You Are Bigger Than The World
You are bigger than the world...yes, you. We all have a sense of this when we come into the planet for our sojourn as such and such a personality. By the time we are in our teens, we have somehow come up with a pretty permanent character to play. And yet, for all the protection it seems to offer, we are constantly in conflict with ourselves.
The spiritual path opens up before us when we come to understand that this conflict can never be resolved by thinking about it. On the contrary, the more we think, the more we sink down into the morass of our egos.
When I began studying with Vernon Howard, he was living in Boulder City, Nevada. He chose it, I think, because it was isolated and in the desert. You really had to make an effort to arrive in his presence. I went for the first time, guided by a dream. I had been listening to one of his audio tapes and knew I needed to see him in person.
He was, in a word, formidable. He allowed no room for anyone to argue with him intellectually. His job was to back our personas into a corner and he did an excellent job. By the same token, his job was also to confirm what our intuition was saying about him. With me, this happened in dreams, in things that students would say to me, and by synchronicity.
He never lied. And it is worth all the effort a student makes to be in the presence of someone without guile. Someone who knows the ego is rotten to the core and bent on keeping its so-called owner in hell.
I am a lifelong student of truth and luckily for me, I always carry that with me, regardless of any ego shenanigans I might be up to. My husband was a student of truth as well. As some of you know, I have written many essays about our experiences as he bravely faced his death from multiple myeloma. Recently he came to me in a dream. It was wonderful and sad at the same time. That is how the path goes. It’s not about roses, roses, but about roses and thorns. Our egos are thorns that we must reckon with. Our true nature shines on.
There is a new MP3 on Audio 2010. Something about The Bars of Thought...
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5 comments:
Hi Vicki,
Thank you for this post. "...we are constantly in conflict with ourselves. The spiritual path opens up before us when we come to understand that this conflict can never be resolved by thinking about it. On the contrary, the more we think, the more we sink down into the morass of our egos."
So true! I've tried to think my way out of thinking for a long time, and your words clearly point to the futility of this approach. Freedom from the mind does not lie in the mind.
I am not familiar with Vernon Howard but will look him up. I also am interested to listen to the audio. Vicki, your name and photo seem familiar to me. I wonder if you attended workshops with Ken Wapnick in Roscoe many years ago, or held some meetings in Massachusetts- it seems we might have met at some point in the past.
Thanks for the richness of your sharings on this blog. Colleen
That wasn't me, Colleen. But then, I'm not "me" either :)
Funny! Can I live without me? Yes!
Vicki, this is so heartening, and speaks to an opening that occurred in a satsang with Sharon Landrith yesterday. During a moment of "my" frustration with words, thinking, the contraction of the concept-addicted mind, she pointed to dropping deeper into listening with the body, as if in the very bones. Aaaaahhhh.
Thank you for your clarity and the sharing of your wisdom.
I like what she said, listening with your body....we all get stuck in the rut of thought. It happened to me when I was trying to title the book. And soon I will reveal what it is :)
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