A Year of Going Deeper

I made an MP3 called No Shit and it got more initial hits than any I have done to date. I like that. It tells me that my willingness to go deeper, to be more myself, has paid off. For those of you who have not listened, it is actually part of the love story between my husband and me. I was being broken on a daily basis and so was he.  Whoever orchestrated the event did not include

moonlight and roses.

That is the way of the cross. A long time ago I woke up from a dream where a woman was asking me if I would like to be a teacher. In the dream I said yes. The next part of the dream included my meeting an Indian guru. I asked him for his blessing and he put oil on my head. He asked me if I had a teacher and I said yes.

I don’t remember anything else that happened, but at the end, he said, “You may have some experiences. I have given you the cross.” He was an Indian, so that part of it was strange. But he had such a solemn expression on his face. Suddenly I woke from the dream and remembered those words with a shock. I felt the dream took place on the astral level.

In real life I had just met a mystic who was signing a copy of her book at a local book store. Bob had wanted to go and I told him I had too many books as it was. But at the last minute, I changed my mind and went. She was sitting there all alone, so we had ample time to talk with her. I told her about my teacher, who had recently passed away,  and she said, “Well, you had better be at the bus stop or it’s going to go on without you!”

“How did you know about the bus stop?” I asked. She looked at me and said “I don’t, but last night as I was meditating, I heard a voice say, “She better be at the bus stop....” I told her that

Vernon Howard’s last talk was about a young woman who wants to get back home. The moral of the  talk was that all she had to do was go to the bus station and ask for a ticket home. Everything else would be done for her.”

The mystic suggested that Bob and I might want to visit her. She lived in a small adjacent town. I was fascinated and in a couple of weeks we were sitting in her home. She said that when she heard the voice in her meditation, she saw a large silver bus with eyes all over it. “It was the safest thing that I have ever seen.”

We talked about the path for a long time. She said she had an Indian guru and that she had an inner guide that told her things. She was a beautiful, intelligent blond and seemed far ahead of me, although she was somewhat younger.

I called her a few days later. “You are very powerful,” she said, “I think you are being called.”

I was both thrilled and terrified by her words. I had never felt powerful in my life and yet I knew that I carried a calling deep within and it was to that she was referring.

“I don’t think I am a teacher,” I told her honestly. And that remains true to this day. I am comfortable writing and recording at home. Perhaps one day I will take the next step.

I had a wonderful friend and guide who passed over in December of 2007. He said I would have a  ministry of sorts but that at this point I was simply planting seeds. He felt the recordings were important for me to do and I have always made them without notes or prior thought.

This year is a time for going deeper; I hope you will join me here and on Nurturing the Now .